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Joni and Ken: An Untold Love Story, by Ken Tada, Joni Eareckson Tada
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This is the true love story of Joni and her husband of 30 years, Ken Tada. A love story showing what it truly means for a man and a woman to live in love … in sickness and in health.
Even the honeymoon wasn’t easy. Did Ken realize what he was getting into when he proposed to Joni, a quadriplegic woman? As their marriage years moved on, Ken became increasingly overwhelmed by the never-ceasing demands of caring for Joni, who begins to experience chronic, extreme, nightmarish pain. Ken sinks into depression, and the couple finds themselves on parallel tracks in life, married and living under the same roof but drifting apart emotionally.
But as they fight for their marriage and find their way through the mazes of depression and pain, they wrap their two lives around their rock—Jesus.
During Ken’s denial of Joni’s diagnosis, and Joni’s thoughts of how wonderful a quick exit to heaven would be, they experience a personal visitation with the savior you will never forget.
- Sales Rank: #243083 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-04-02
- Released on: 2013-04-02
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Ken Tada recently retired from thirty-two years of teaching and has come on board with Joni and Friends to serve as Director of Ministry Development. He is also a member of the Board of Directors and in 2001 received Family Life Ministries Robertson McQuilkin Award honoring “The Courageous Love of a Marriage Covenant Keeper.” Ken is an avid fly fisherman and helps to lead Wild Adventures, a fishing ministry for men.
Joni Eareckson Tada is founder and CEO of Joni and Friends, an organization that accelerates Christian outreach in the disability community. Joni and Friends provides practical support and spiritual help to special needs families worldwide, and equips thousands of churches in developing disability ministry. Joni is the author of numerous bestselling books, including Joni, Diamonds in the Dust, Heaven, When God Weeps, and A Step Further, winner of the Gold Medallion Award. Joni and her husband, Ken, have been married for over 30 years. For more information on Joni and Friends, visit www.joniandfriends.org
Larry Libby is an author and editor who has written a number of books including Someday Heaven and Who Made God? He and his wife, Carol, live in Washington.
Most helpful customer reviews
285 of 302 people found the following review helpful.
An Untold Love story that's still untold
By Debra
I am writing this, knowing full well that it will get people up in arms who don't understand that reviews are opinions and don't need to be agreed with. This is an honest review of my experience with the book and my honest opinion, and not in any way a commentary on anyone's personal choices or hardships.
I found the book disappointing and felt like at the end of the book the story was still untold. If you follow their lives then you may be able to fill in the blanks, but as someone who is basically 99% unfamiliar with any details (other than that Joni is a quadrapalegic that started Joni and Friends), the book did not stand alone. It doesn't give the unacquainted reader enough information to adequately feel what they felt, which is really the purpose of a memoir.
For example, the book really glosses over how they fell in love. There's a lot of detail about how Joni first noticed Ken, but not about what attracted Ken to Joni. What made him choose such a difficult path? At one point she even writes, "And what about sex? Is that the elephant in the room everyone is talking about? And would we be able to have children?" Those questions are never revisited.
I definitely do not want any details about what happens behind closed doors, but as the mother of two severely disabled children I was absolutely left with this big question mark about how they fell in love. Going into their marriage what was he thinking? What was he feeling? Obviously he didn't know what he was getting into (and how can you unless you've done hands on care taking like that?), but what did he understand? My husband and I didn't choose that path for ourselves, it was thrust upon us and for most people that's how it goes. Ken's choices are absolutely remarkable, and they aren't really discussed in any depth.
The book also used the literary technique of flashbacks but it didn't work for the format. I would be reading and get really disoriented about the timeline. The book would have been much stronger if it had been written chronologically - if you could watch them fall in love, watch them face exceedingly difficult times and then watch the victory. As it was you'd watch them have a hard time, flash back to a better time, the flash forward to the victory. I don't think it worked.
The other thing I found unnatural was the dialogue and the interjection of hymn lyrics. The dialogue was unnatural and the hymn lyrics were hard to relate to. I can imagine that after everything she's been through she probably does just randomly start reciting hymn lyrics and singing, but it was like reading a musical. I found it incredibly difficult to relate to. It sounded like a platitude. Almost like, "You would think this would be difficult, but once I started singing this hymn it was all okay."
I am certain her spiritual maturity is infinitely beyond mine. I guess what I'm saying is that to me it didn't take me to the depths I wanted to go. I know what burnout is. I know what it's like to care for people who can't walk, to deal with sores and wounds and pneumonia and everything else. You simply can't understand it unless you've done it. The book described that, but it didn't take me deeply into the emotions of it.
I'm not saying it never does. There are a few times that they talk about moments that were absolutely raw and seemed very difficult, but they aren't until later in the book.
Basically the book breezes through their courtship and marriage for the first 30 something years, and then picks up when Ken feels emotionally distant, she's diagnosed with breast cancer and everything changes. I would have absolutely felt that whole experience differently if there had been more time and attention focused on their relationship - how they fell in love, what he saw in her, why he sacrificed so much, how he really felt early on, what he struggled with, what his thoughts were. It discusses a lot of that with relation to Joni, but as a caretaker, I could really relate to Ken. It does discuss his perspective some, but not in sufficient depth.
In any case, if you follow her and know a lot about her life and you're encouraged by hymn lyrics, you would almost certainly love this book. For those of us who aren't and maybe are caretakers of someone who isn't able bodied, the book was hard to relate to. I would have loved it if it was three times longer and focused a lot more on Ken.
90 of 94 people found the following review helpful.
Love lost and reignited
By N. B. Kennedy
It took a lot of courage to write a book like this chronicling the inner workings of a marriage. I know I wouldn't want to put my relationships out there for everyone to critique!
This is the story of Joni Eareckson and Ken Tada's courtship and marriage. To those unfamiliar with the name, she is a Christian with celebrity status and a worldwide ministry. She is also a quadriplegic who in her 30s married Ken Tada, whom she met at church.
Ken might have been a little awed by Joni's celebrity status, but he seemed genuinely in love and willing to take on the challenge of caregiving. But as the years go by, both Joni and Ken become weary from the relentless grind of daily care, and for Joni, pain and helplessness. Joni has full-time nurses and aides, and for many years Ken retreats emotionally and physically from his wife and allows her entourage to take over much of the time. Who can blame him? Joni is painfully aware of how her needs have overwhelmed her husband and she tries to lessen the burden by disappearing on weekends shopping, spending time with friends -- anything to give Ken some space. Their marriage becomes arid.
Joni's diagnosis of cancer, and Ken's immersion in the book Wild at Heart, changes all that, in ways the couple could never have imagined. In fact, Joni considers her diagnosis a gift to her marriage! The book takes you on the couple's journey of spiritual discovery and marital healing.
I enjoyed much of the book, but was a little hampered by the meandering text. For example, the book starts with a scene at a restaurant, from the viewpoint of the elderly Italian owner, who is musing about the restaurants he has owned -- who is he?!? We don't learn for three pages what his connection to Joni is, and when it is revealed, it is tenuous at best. The story isn't told chronologically, so I got lost at times, and the momentum of the story is lost in a long early chapter on a visit the engaged couple makes to Eastern Europe for Joni's ministry.
More importantly, I missed hearing firsthand from Ken. Most of the story is told from Joni's viewpoint. I wanted to hear his thoughts and feelings unfiltered. Joni says she knows the burden of caregiving was heavy on him; I would have liked to hear directly from Ken about that. His voice is most apparent toward the end as he mulls over his role as a "warrior" husband, but I would have enjoyed hearing more from him about the twenty-eight long years of struggle before his epiphany.
43 of 48 people found the following review helpful.
Completely authentic
By Trudie Barreras
The best descriptor I can think of to apply to this wonderful little book is COMPLETELY AUTHENTIC. Often, I suspect, when firmly convinced believers are trying to witness to their faith, although they do not deny doubts and fears, they downplay their own dark moments. I think this is the result of a fear that those less experienced in the spiritual journey will be scandalized. I am reminded of the shock and chagrin that accompanied the publication of Mother Teresa's private reflections concerning her personal struggles with her lack of a sense of the presence and closeness of God. What the Tadas share, with the able assistance of their co-author Larry Libby, is a completely - at times painfully - truthful exposé of the real-time struggles that went into forging their extraordinarily blessed relationship. As must be true if we are speaking about human reality, these struggles were not only with the external complications and trials, but with the internal emotional and spiritual struggles with relationship challenges and a sense of God's lack of response to deep and heartfelt prayer. Anyone seeking "pie-in-the-sky" clichés need not bother with Joni and Ken's story, but those seeking genuine spiritual truth should be deeply moved and thoroughly blessed by reading it.
This book is a thoroughgoing testimony to the vital necessity that we as humans are NOT meant to undergo life's struggles and seek God's purpose in isolation. We NEED a community of love to keep us grounded and sustain our own efforts when they falter. Joni Eareckson had such a community in the group of helpers who surrounded her following the accident that left her paralyzed, but obviously there was also the need of a deeper and more intimate relationship as well, a soul-mate who could, in her own eventual experience, BE JESUS for her during her darkest time. And Ken, too, was blessed to be able to fulfill his calling to cherish and care for that very special gift - not only to him, but to myriad others in need - represented by Joni. What a profound grace that they were able to find each other and persevere through all the incredible challenges this small book describes!
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