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Are you loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, AND self-controlled?
Most of the time? Sometimes? How about when life gets hard or marriage gets tough?
Whatever your answer may be, the good news is that you are not alone.
Best-selling author, mother, and wife Hayley DiMarco understands the challenges we all face and answers the question at hand: How can you be the woman God is calling you to be, a woman who bears the fruit of the Spirit in your marriage and in the daily grind of life?
To help you grow, Hayley explores the biblical significance of all 9 fruits of the Spirit, explaining how each fruit first begins to grow and then how each impacts your day-to-day life and marriage. She writes like a wise friend and is readily transparent about her own failures to be spiritually fruitful as well as her relational struggles for control, authority, and respect. Ultimately, Hayley teaches us how even the rockiest of marriages can blossom and generate the fruit God intends to produce.
- Sales Rank: #349280 in eBooks
- Published on: 2012-09-30
- Released on: 2012-09-30
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Hayley DiMarco is the best-selling author of over 30 books, including God Girl, Mean Girls, and Die Young. She and her husband, Michael, run Hungry Planet, a company focused on producing books that combine hard-hitting biblical truth with cutting-edge design in Nashville, Tennessee.
Most helpful customer reviews
25 of 28 people found the following review helpful.
Very good book in almost every way
By booklass
This book was given to me for my review. The Fruitful Wife by Hayley Di Marco is a hard review for me to write because it was, to me, almost perfect as to the subject matter and how the author chose to address it. The "fruit of the Spirit" has always been difficult for me to understand when it comes to actual definition and how it should manifest in my life. Di Marco breaks down each fruit of the spirit one by one: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. The author makes it clear that obtaining this fruit begins in abiding in Christ, and she details how that looks in a believer's life. Once she establishes the root of the fruitful life, she expands on the fruit in minute detail, giving many examples. I truly appreciated the clarification because I always found that while Galatians 5:22-23 is often quoted, how to personally apply it is often vague. I personally thought that her chapter on JOY alone was worth the price of the book. It certainly inspired me, but I found many inspirational moments throughout the book.
So, why only three stars? On page 90 I ran into a huge problem in Di Marco's comment that "obsessive compulsive disorder, hypochondria, and other social phobias" are "neurosis that are born in our spirits" that are formed when we have "an immoderate attachment to something other than God". I am not sure what the author's mental health credentials are, but I know that these are not just social phobias but are real neurological and biochemical illnesses. In the case of OCD, it is often comorbid with other conditions such as autism, tourette's, and bipolar disorder, to name a few. To suggest that the patient has caused their own disease through idolatry is incredibly wrong and harmful to someone who is already struggling with the feeling of being disenfranchised by a mental/developmental disorder. If the author did not mean to suggest the correlation between disease and idolatry, then she needs to rewrite this section of the book. Perhaps the author might benefit from reading Disability and the Gospel. This rather major issue leaves me with the frustration that, while I very much liked the book's other parts, I would not feel comfortable suggesting it to some people who I think would be vulnerable to the one message Di Marco is sending out on page 90. That is really a shame.
Another issue is that the subject of abusive marriages is not at least mentioned. I realize that that was not the focus of the book, but it might have helped a wife in that position to know before purchasing and reading the book. The scope of the book seemed to be mostly focused on the average "warts and all" marriage. I would not recommend it for an abusive marriage because it might leave the unsafe impression that if you just "do these things" all will be well. Some other suggested reading in the introduction would have been helpful, or at least a disclaimer that the scope of the book is not addressing an abusive situation which would necessitate that a wife get out of harm's way.
One other problem I found in the book, but this is not something I marked off for in rating the item, is that the ink is a light blue, and I found it very difficult to read in certain light or when my eyes were tired. I would rather have read this on my Kindle than in paperback, if I had known.
So,the bottom line? Buy the book for its wonderful explanations of the fruit of the Spirit if the author's outlook on mental health does not bother you as much as it did me, but do not give it to someone who is struggling with mental health if you think that the author's statement would hurt them in any way.
15 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
The Fruitful Wife: What NOT To Do in Marriage
By JBebe
I really liked the idea of this book and felt that the topic had a lot of potential. The cute cover and turquoise text also helped to draw me in - I was excited to read this book! Unfortunately, I felt that it did not live up to its potential and that it falls short of being a truly inspiring book to help improve marriages.
First, I must note that there was a lot in the book that I did not quite agree with doctrinally, and a few interpretations of scripture that did not sit well with me. However, I want to make it clear that my low rating on this book is due almost entirely to other reasons (which I will go into in a moment), and not because the author's faith and interpretation of doctrine differs from mine; I don't feel that it would be fair to give the book such a low rating purely because the author's religious views differ from my own.
First, the positives:
I actually loved and appreciated the chapter on Joy. Her thoughts and discussion on the virtue of joy were very uplifting and inspiring; I loved the part about how a joyful wife can be a blessing to her husband and family.
I also LOVED the conclusion chapter, in which DiMarco discusses the vine and the branches which bring forth fruit, and how ours is an active role in developing the fruit in our lives.
Onto the things I did not like about this book:
I felt that the overall tone of this book was actually very negative. Yes, there were many Biblical references and much discussion about the nine virtues. A lot of this was very informative and inspirational. But whenever the author used personal examples and stories from her life, it was all very negative. I think what she was going for was to show how developing these fruits of the Spirit in her life allowed her to change from the way she was to become a good wife and strengthen her marriage, but she hardly made ANY mention of HOW she did change, or the specific POSITIVE things she did to help her marriage. There are plenty of stories about ways to be a bad wife - being impatient, having meltdowns on her honeymoon, screaming, breaking plates, not saying "please" or "thank you" to her husband, being moody, not smiling and exhibiting joy, and on and on and on. What I would have loved to read are the specific ways she learned to become a good wife once she learned to abide in the Spirit and develop those fruits of the Spirit. I would have loved her to balance out the general discussion of those virtues with more actual, practical tips to apply to your marriage - and positive ones! For me this book was a "what not to do" guide to marriage. I don't feel particularly inspired to be a better wife, except that I don't want to be like the wife she portrayed through her negative examples.
I also got the overall feeling of this book being very condescending towards husbands. There were SO many examples of what to do when your husband is sinful, lazy, overly sensitive, being a "baby," a failure, even your "enemy" (page 113). She talked about how God's grace can help us "keep from rolling our eyes when he's wrong, making fun of him, complaining about him, or reminding him of his failures" (page 116). Maybe the author didn't do this on purpose, but much of the tone of this book is similar in the way that husbands are mentioned. Look, a lot of husbands are wonderful. Mine isn't perfect but I never feel like he's being a baby, or think "you're such a failure," and I sure don't make fun of him. These things don't even cross my mind. Maybe I just don't relate to the author very well?
I had a problem with a major point the author seems to make throughout the book that I think is worth mentioning. She talks about how many "nonbelievers" exhibit some or all of these virtues in their lives, and they bless their families and do good ("sometimes better than believers"), but "only because it feels good. Their fruit grows because of the payoff they receive" (page 15). The author states that because they are nonbelievers they must be doing this for selfish reasons. Look, we all have different beliefs. Although I am a Christian, I don't belong to the same church as the author - does that make me a nonbeliever? There are many wonderful, good people who don't go to church at all - does this make them purely "selfish" when they show love, or gentleness, or goodness in their homes and in their communities? I don't think it is the author's place, or mine, or anyone else's (except God's) to judge the motives and intents of people who do good.
I realize that this is a book about being a good wife. However, marriage is a partnership. I felt like a lot of these practical tips would have been more effective and helpful when seen through the lens of a partnership. For example, the author talks about praying for your husband when you don't like what he's doing or when he sins or makes mistakes. Praying for your husband is great and important. A good wife does that. But I also think it's also paramount in a marriage to pray together. It was just all a little too one-sided for me, making husbands seem inferior in some way.
A couple of alarming things the author said:
On page 55, the author talks about the "joylessness of a life out of control," and mentions conditions such as anorexia and bulimia; she then suggests that to let go of this need for control that is inherent in these disorders, one must see the fingerprints of God in their life and trust in Him. While this is true to some extent, I think that these disorders are much more than a lack of trust in God.
Other reviewers have mentioned the alarming paragraph on page 90 that basically says that certain neuroses and disorders wouldn't be present if we would merely align our lives with God. I think the author needs to be more careful about such claims when dealing with medical issues.
While I loved the conclusion chapter, I found it strange that it actually made NO mention at all about marriage; I don't think I even read the word "wife" in that chapter at all. (Isn't that a little inconsistent with the whole premise of the book?)
This book was just a little too negative for me, and seemed more like a "What Not To Do" marriage book. I did enjoy reading it critically, and it has prompted many good discussions with my husband about marriage and doctrine, as well as encouraged me to look many things up in my scriptures to ponder on my own.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
2 stars for physical book, 4 stars for content
By Ms. Parrothead
I've never actually commented on the physical properties of a book before, but in this case, the book itself nearly caused me not to finish it. This book is printed in a light aqua colored font, and it is hard for me to read, especially with a book light (I do most of my reading in bed) I found that I could only read a little at a time, otherwise I developed a headache.
I do like the content of this book. I have read some of DiMarco's books in the past and I have found them to be hit or miss. I felt that the author did a very good job explaining the fruits of the spirit, and I feel that the work is spiritually sound. I agree with some other reviewers who take issue with DiMarco's statements on mental illness. I truly hope that Mrs. DiMarco does not feel that some people develop mental illness due to idolatry or other sin - this is the type of backwards thinking that causes Christians who do have mental illness to suffer in silence, and may prevent others from seeking help from the church. Other than her statements about mental illness, this book was a pleasant read.
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